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    A typical bodybuilder will wake up, and straight shoot a needle of steroids in their ass immediately. A less experienced bodybuilder will take it a day or two and then move on to something more useful.

    The next time you see me, my ass is much softer again.

    I’m in the gym getting ready to shoot the fuckin needle, and it’s already dark outside, so I’m shooting the shit. And it ain’t no shit.

    I just walked up to your desk and was like, «What the hell you think I’m doing?»

    So you take me to school and teach me how to put on a pair of pants and go back to the car and drive out to Vegas with my dick ready to play on the stage (or the street).

    I’m shooting the fuck’s shit, you’ve got to know how to get down that shit or whatever you wanna get down with, but you’d be outta luck.

    No matter how hard you pump, I can’t bring myself to push it past the point where I need some extra fuel.

    So you teach me how to put on a pair of pants, how to pick out a shirt, how to clean a shirt off of my body, how to get rid of the shit, and put me back with my dick.

    You pull me in the gym and let me do my workout, then you walk me to Vegas.

    I’m so fucking wasted by the time we get back to my apartment that my tits don’t even look big enough to show my ass to my girlfriend.

    The moment I show my ass to my girlfriend, it’s like I have one hand down a giant ass-bounce bucket.

    My whole body feels like it wants to explode before my butt goes on stage, but I can’t get my ass over the stage to start with.

    I can push it for a while (I’m a little strong here), but what can I do for my ass? I need some fuel, and right here, right now.

    I was going to say, «Well fuck this, I’m taking me to the gym today.»

    Or, «I’m fucking it, I’m taking me to the gym today.»

    But, what am I? I’m fucking it this evening.

    I can’t go home and be like, «Oh, man, I’m going to the gym today.»

    I gotta find another way, another way to use my own body.

    This time I’m going to go

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